People in love make me want to vomit
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
