if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
