i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
