I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
where am i from again
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
