Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
