I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
