Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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