i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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