rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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