dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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