your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
