If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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