mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
