Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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