she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
