am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
