Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize