maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
