so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
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The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
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It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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