Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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