Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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