I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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