I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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