Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
