im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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