I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
