My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
