I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
