First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
