I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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