I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
