he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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