rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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