East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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