He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
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Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize