A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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