We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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