Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
