It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
