'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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