If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
