"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
