ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How does it feel to date your dad?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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