thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize