your parents love me but you hate me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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