Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
