Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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