I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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