Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
