I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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