to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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