Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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