ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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