I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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