Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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